If you’ve ever struggled with an idea for a festive holiday tablescape, then landed on an homage to the dark movie Black Swan, HGTV’s Holiday Crafters Gone Wild is the must watch TV you didn’t know you needed.
Hosted by Jay Manuel of America’s Next Top Model fame, the show aims to find The Ultimate Holiday Crafting Champion by arming four teams with glue guns to compete for a $10,000 grand prize.
Using things like glitter, pom-poms, cardboard and wooden dowels, the teams craft their way through the challenges: decorating a holiday table; trimming a Christmas tree; and ultimately transforming the outside of fake houses on a fake street named Candy Lane. After each round is judged, one team receives a lump of coal signaling that they’re eliminated.
It won’t ruin your viewing pleasure to reveal that the first team eliminated was Geurdy, a Naomi Campbell look-alike who proudly proclaims “we don’t do basic” and her partner in event planning Garrett. Their swan-themed table featured a revolving winter storm illuminated by flashes of lightning, meant to represent families gathering for the holidays. I can safely say that these two have never watched HGTV.
As host, Manuel is burdened with lines like “OK, not to be a nutcracker but you have five minutes left” and “Ho Ho Ho there’s only ten minutes to go.” But thankfully, he delivers these bon mots with professional level smizing. (Top Model fans will recognize this technique as smiling with your eyes.)
One team eventually bedazzles their way to the top, receiving the worst crafted trophy in the history of trophies. Seriously. It looks like interns made it during a commercial break.
You won’t get many crafting tips out of these 90 minutes, but for corny, campy fun . . . nah, still no.
Amazingly, Holiday Crafters Gone Wild is available to stream from HGTV’s website or On Demand. If you dare.